Short End of the Stick

now and now the winter GLOWS.

2009-04-18T21:26:00.012-05:00

hi. fancy seeing you all here. lets do a head count of the audience

...
suppose i walked right in to that one.
well apparently for my absence i should state
IM SORRY!
it saddens me to not have posted for so long!
V pic related V

okay, lets jump in to this bitch. January brought this on:

wowowowow. thank you dumb ass lady who couldn't change lanes because she was from a different city (actual excuse she gave me.)

after her insurance company had to send a private investigator to track her down...

-_______________________________-

they finally cut me a check and i got my car fixed about a month later. lalala.
lets
take
up
space.

okay so february passes, march i was laid off from GPI on a Friday and was hired by Ozark Inc. on a Monday. YAY constant cash flow:

V pic way too fucking related. V
bored + shaun = quit my job in April on a Monday.
woah. why would you do something like that???
okay back track:
one dreary Wednesday i went to work and literally stayed for 45 minutes and left. Now in this time i went out and briefly looked for another job, one of which called me randomly on the Friday before my first day of my last three days employed with the fucking OZARK INC. im the boss.
like a boss.
so now we're still in AH-prull and blah blah.
V And here i am blogging again. V
Hello all. Good to see you again... I've missed NO ONE FUCK YOU ALL, BYE.
-END BLOG-

light gun has new songs-->
<--medicated and sick has new songs

three.

2009-01-24T00:23:00.004-06:00

Niall Ferguson'sThe Ascent of Money
Paul Krugman'sThe Return of Depression Economics and the Crisis of 2008
and
Paul Krugman'sThe Great Unraveling: Losing Our Way in the New Century.

2009-01-02T02:05:00.002-06:00

I need to be crafty.

2008-12-02T14:20:00.000-06:00

Enough said?

2008-11-24T01:01:00.001-06:00

私は酷い下痢です。

2008-11-20T12:46:00.004-06:00

Last night at around 10:30 a middle aged couple walked into the restaurant I work at and ordered food--even though we were closed--and required me to dwell in my appetizer station for an extra hour. I figured they were just stopping by for some quick eats because they were drunk, but they ended up ordering three course meals. They were starting to piss me off because virtually everything they ordered came from my station, disallowing me to clean my area.

Had I paid attention to the fact that the executive chef was offering the couple superior service and immaculate dishes, I would have believed the guy who told me that the man at the table was Lars Ulrich of Metallica. He said Metallica were playing a concert in Houston; so I did some research when I got home, and that's when I discovered I made appetizers and dessert for the drummer of some really shitty, famous band.

2008-11-18T16:17:00.006-06:00

I finally wound up grocery shopping at Phoenicia, a specialty foods retailer with products from all around Europe and the Mediterranean. I've been a few times before, usually just to buy insignificant things like candy bars and sodas; but this time my hand basket was heaping with goods.

The store offers immense varieties of dried fruits, cooking oils, olives, pastries, yogurts, and chocolates. The chocolates in particular are pretty outlandish--being from countries like Croatia and all. I never knew Croatia had such tasty confections to offer.

One thing that usually seems to disappoint me is the fact that Phoenicia doesn't really offer a Spanish section. They don't even, to my knowledge, carry Nocilla, Spain's answer to Nutella; they do, however, carry every other variant of chocolate hazelnut spread.

Another thing that's pretty unusual to find in a specialty foods retailer is a hookah aisle, and strangely enough, Phoenicia carries an expansive selection of not only hookahs, but tobacco in every flavor of every brand imaginable.

Normally "specialty" and "expensive" go hand in hand, but at Phoenicia the products are sensibly priced. Aside from being inexpensive and diverse, Phoenicia is both Halal and vegetarian friendly. However, if you don't have religious or moral standards, you might enjoy their deli and their limited pork products, strategically separated from everything else.

------

Apparently the residents of my apartment building are so loaded that they are willing to leave clusters of full dish sets, glass sets, wastebaskets, vacuum cleaners, and artificial, fully lighted and decorated Christmas trees--all brand spankin' new--in the trash room for pillagers like Shaun and me to rummage through. I swear walking into the trash room is like Christmas; it is thankfully two doors down from my apartment, leaving me the benefit of discretely hoarding the treasures down the hall into my lair.

Anyway, here are some things I have accumulated from the "trash" room in the few months I have lived here:

I'm beginning to think that home goods retailers serve virtually no purpose to me anymore.

2008-11-07T13:38:00.004-06:00

During a discussion about presidential assassinations:

Me: I wonder why Bush was never assassinated during his second term.
Shaun: Because everyone toting a rifle was for him.

If that doesn't speak the truth, Barack Obama actually has a chance of living through his presidency.

In all honesty, though, I don't expect anything too drastic to occur as much as I did during Obama's acceptance speech. Even then, I was just a little uneasy; albeit the speech was given in his hometown, which I think helped create comfort and maintain exuberance for everyone.

This song is, as David Cross would agree, one of the best songs ever. The entire official video disallowed embedding, but this more or less gets the point across. It is seriously LOL.

2008-11-05T11:14:00.008-06:00

I must say I am more than pleased with the presidential outcome. Even though it was evident that there was a cogent chance of Barack taking John by a landslide, I was still anxious to know the results. I wonder if anyone else noticed the look of defeat on Palin's face. I'm sure that was a classic moment for most people to observe since she's always under a tremendous amount of scrutiny for being a dumb ass. I think Palin was affected by the outcome more so than McCain because she knew her presidency would be an inevitability once McCain croaked two weeks into office had he been elected.

As much as I admire the fact that this country is willing to accept diversity into office, I kind of think this campaign arose out of shock value. Clinton, Palin, Obama, cancer- where does one even begin to decide? You've to start somewhere, I guess, and this was definitely a considerable start. Clearly these decisions are made mostly out of liberty, favor, and even indulgence over politics, but each of those elements have been successful in contributing someone worth a damn into office.

Thank you, Half of America.

*Edit-

And for most of you Republicans who are worried about Barack and his religious views- you can always (hopefully) remember back to high school when you were (hopefully) introduced to the "separation of church and state" doctrine.

And remember, "Hussein" is not a denomination given specifically to terrorists.

2008-11-04T21:46:00.002-06:00

Is there actually a reason it's called prune "juice"? I mean, the idea of prune juice is sort of a paradoxical thing to concede because the thought of extracting juice from something that has already been extracted of its juice, hence its name, is downright absurd. I'm not exactly arguing this established appellation because I guess prune juice does essentially - holy fucking shit, I have got to interrupt my prune rant due to the fact that we have ourselves a new president. McCain just gave his concession speech. Maybe I'll continue this later; maybe I won't.

2008-11-03T13:08:00.002-06:00

Lately I've been at loss of blog topics, but I'm really bored; so I'll just force myself to think of something.

You know your 578 square foot studio apartment is at a revolting level of disorganization when it actually takes hours to achieve partial decorum. I have been enduring this very problem for the past week or so and have finally decided to hop off my lazy ass and hop into the kitchen where I've begun my clean-a-ton clean-a-thon. I guess cleaning isn't so bad once you've begun; everything just sort of transpires like clockwork. It's really just the initial motivating factor that I find difficult to come by, but who doesn't?

My job is starting to aggravate me a lot more lately, and I'm not really sure why. I mean, I haven't really been the victim of the sous chef's incessant bitching as much as I was prior to October, but who knows what's really going on in that fucking weirdo's cranium. On the bright side, the mouthbreathing dolt whose presence I had to painfully suffer for like four months got demoted and has been replaced by some guy who can hopefully spell "asparagus".

I, until like right now, thought the phrase "Jah will provide" was actually "Jawa will provide". I think "Jawa" is cooler because Star Wars fucking rules. Last night I was at my mom's house, and she had an episode of Wife Swap recorded, so I decided to check it out. There were an absurd white Rastafarian family from Florida and an even more absurd Texan family who lived by spreadsheets. The Texan dad controlled his family into living a pretty much chaste lifestyle as a means of appearing refined, but it wasn't really too convincing; I guess because it's hard to view a bald hick living in the practically rural suburbs of I think what is south Texas as cultivated. The Rastafarian family were just delusional bozos with the idea that "Jah will provide". Their intentions were sensible, but their lifestyle was not.

I guess all I'm trying to say is, queso flameado is a damn stupid appetizer.

GDRIVER@GMAIL.COM IS ALREADY REGISTERED WTF KTHXDIE.

2008-10-07T19:13:00.005-05:00

HA.

MINE ALL MINE ALL MINE NOM NOM NOM.

2008-09-05T16:07:00.004-05:00

HEY Y'AWLL! It's Paula Deen, and today I'd like to share with y'all a simple yet decadent recipe for my famous heart attack pie.

Preparation time:

30 minutes

What you'll need:

Pie mold
Non-stick spray, butter flavor
Butter (I usually use about 60-70 1-lb bars, but whatever is available in your neighborhood market will work fine)

Directions:

Just spray your pie mold liberally with non-stick (butter flavor) spray and add the butter in a Jenga technique. Chill and serve.

Serves: 2

and now the creek is rising and all my bridges burned.

2008-09-03T23:04:00.003-05:00

List:

Things I wish I had in my life:

More Ferraris
More money
More true friends

Things I don't need in my life:

More drinking buddies, sorry I think I have way too many nowadays.
Friends who give me cold shoulders and don't stand up for me.
People named after comedians.

Things I'd like to hope to see soon in my life:

Call of Duty: WaW
007: Quantum of Solace
New car
New acoustic guitar
A Moog
New laptop

Things I'm fond of currently:

Coco's Yakitori Sushi Bar
Times spent meddling away on writing
Lauren putting her arm around me and kissing my back gently
My current living arrangements
My true friends, the ones who walked out with me, stayed with me, and even invited me for sushi the following day
Jay-rod asking for pot, wtf.
Burger King's awesome coupon booklet. Totally FTW.
Not wasting another minute in an infinite loop, spiraling downward into the abyss
www.myspace.com/nowwerhorsen, really digging this shit right now

Lastly... The post below me PHAILS. vvv - The night began way before that and she knows where it began, I know where it began, and she knows what she did with that girl at Boondocks. HA. PHAIL.

and whatnot

2008-08-28T23:13:00.008-05:00

Last night/this morning Shaun, George Lopez (teehee LoLz), and I celebrated Miranda's getting the hell out of Houston. We drunkenly began the night with Funfetti cupcakes that Miranda baked, which at that point, I was angry because a drunken girl took a bite off the cupcake I had hoped to enjoy all by myself- which I did; I just wish I could have enjoyed it in its entirety. Instead of questioning her fat intentions, I sort of just stood there and stared; I was dumbfounded. The nerve of some people. Anyway, the night was filled with lots and lots of disappointingly cold foods from Katz's. Broadway Breakfast? More like No-way Breakfast. Anyway, I had lots of fun all the way until we headed back toward our apartment where daylight was emerging and the fingernail clipping in the sky started to fade.
Oh yeah, last night was my first time to sing karaoke. I think I sang "Come Sail Away" by Styx, but I would rather not remember because I don't want to picture myself being an ass. It's probably inevitable, but at least the inevitable can be stalled.

*I deleted the top half of this post because it was ridiculous.

The Post Below Me...

2008-08-26T23:33:00.001-05:00

Hennesy Hennesy Hennesy

2008-08-26T12:29:00.002-05:00

Have you ever gone to eat questionable Vietnamese food, simply because it seemed quick, convenient, filling, and most of all, cheap? And it's like, you took into account the reason it was so cheap was because there would surely be some compromises made. I know I regrettably made the decision to order the "rice w/ lemongrass chicken" dish. Now, I'm no connoisseur of Vietnamese cuisine, but I do know that, for something to have lemon grass in its name, it should probably taste somewhat like or even RESEMBLE something containing lemon grass.
I mean, what I received was- and I wish I was joking/exaggerating, but I'm actually serious- old (at least one day old), microwaved (I heard the microwave beep), extremely tough "chicken" smothered in caramelized onions. What the fuck? I'm not even going into detail about how I saw Mr. Cockroach scurrying under a table.

The jasmine rice was somewhat enjoyable, though.

I should have just ordered the curry. Or maybe I should have just eaten elsewhere; who knows.

While Shaun and I waited for our food we went into the attached Kim Hung market to buy some Thai tea- very addictive. When we walked out, we noticed that we were incredibly itchy; we looked down to notice what appeared to be flea bites on our arms. I don't even want to question that. I have somewhat regularly shopped at Kim Hung for about four or so years, and yesterday really made me question everything. I don't know if it was the cockroach or the chicken or what.
I should have just ordered the shrimp fried rice again.

And Then There Were Two...

2008-08-24T23:17:00.010-05:00

Wellesy Wellesy Wellesy....

So here beeth thine cast:

of course we have Shaun...

Nous of Nowwerhorsen.

And of course, Beth, not of Nowwerhorsen.

Okay, Shaun enters in and sees the enemy in his sight...
She's grabbed a hold of the prize!

Shaun moves in and takes the grab!

He's in!!! Now for the kill!!!

I need to really stop drinking whiskey...

I woke up the next morning in Nous's bed looking like this for some reason:

Yeah, thats my purse in the background, it's my overnight bag ;).

By the by, that first picture of me I was drunker than DRUNK.

The Test Begins.... NOWOWOWOWOWOWOW

2008-08-16T13:10:00.003-05:00

Drunk, drunk, try again.

So much, so much.

Parking ticket. GRRR.

Internet, finally!.!

Gay man dancing Friday/Boondocks ..... only leads into gayer man dancing on Saturday/Boondocks.

Gay man kissing straight up on Saturday. Pictures soon.

Okay... Maybe too soon.

Alright, brass tax: So far, just Big Gay AL HENDRICKS at Cecil's:: Lil' John, Verbs, Meat, and Tyrone randomly. Power walking! Or wait... Race WALKING! "Hello, nice to meet you sir, I am an Olympic gold medalist!" "Oh, really, in what sport?" "Race walking!" ".....whatafag."

Jaime and the twins birthday tonight. w00t.

By the by, I will never drink ^^^^^^ that much ever again (theresalsovideoofgaymandancingandikissedlike8guys.)

Oh yes. Theres the matter of Shaun vs. DA COPS

Katz: Saturday: 3am ish.
Walk to restroom, bump into cop whilst VERY (I can't stress that enough) intoxicated. Before I could stumble to inebriated -ly try and say 'sorry,' he took full control and beat my ass down... verbally. "Sorry, sir!" I shat myself.
Friday of this weeks time period. I seriously think a woman cop tried grabbing me. BITCH.

This is it

2008-07-08T17:05:00.005-05:00

We got the official "you're approved" this afternoon. Shaun and I haven't seen the inside of our new place yet, but we're told it's a studio loft. I'm pretty excited because I finally get to establish my own credit in my own name. This is also pretty beneficial because there are like a million job opportunities in my new zip code alone. Actually, one day this week I'm supposed to go for an interview at some ridiculously upscale dining establishment. This place has absurd prices, but I'm sort of counting on free eats if given the job. As exciting as this is, I'm still nervous and anxious and even sort of intimidated. I've never moved before, much less lived on my own- well, sort of on my own; I get to at least live with Shaun. Anyway, here are a few pictures of the exterior:

Okay, Let's Go!

2008-07-04T00:22:00.003-05:00

Two new songs up:
1. Light Gun! - Moonview Highway
2. Shaun - If I Were A Car Crash, Would You Stop To Look At Me?

And since purevolume sucks puredick, here's the lyrics to the Shaun song:

If I Were A Car Crash, Would You Stop To Look At Me?

And I know that this world
wasn't big enough for me.
so I pull out my flask
and befriend my whiskey.

as my foot weighs down
and my car goes on
i reminisce back
to a world not so fond.

well I know that i missed
with this little life of mine
sitting here wasting
with my friends, all of my time.

and i know that i should've
maybe devoted more effort
instead i just drink
to kill whatever else you left.

my engine starts to moan
as my eyes start to go
my hand starts to slip
from the wheels bloody grip

pieces of whats left
are all i can see
my face is cut up
and my arms bloody

well sometimes we think
that we have it figured out
but isn't it the sane ones
who are always trying to get out

you walk around this world
of darkness in your eyes
cursed forever
until one day you'll die.

I will face him
and he will say to me
well son you and this
world weren't meant to be

and He will cast me through
the purest of red hells
and I will look back
and notice no ringing bells

notice no ringing, no ringing bells on me...
notice no ringing bells, no ringing on me...
notice no ringing, cause shattering is all i can see.
no more ringing, no ringing out of me.

Nothing Too Catchy.

2008-07-02T03:27:00.005-05:00

I may or may not have posted about my phone being stolen at Ikea...

NEW PHONE!!!

Rather than paying the $50 deductible and getting another Upstage, I decided to renew my contract and pay a tad more for this awesome balls:

Here be-ith thy details.

Also, might be moving again. New house didn't work out so we pack our bags once more and maybe this time will land in one of two midtown lofts in Houston.

Fingers crossed.

GABBO IS HERE!

2008-06-30T02:31:00.005-05:00

As promised.

I keep with this.

By the by...

This is what I might have looked like the other night:
I was almost arrested for being drunk in public. I had to sit inside a cop car for an hour and now my wrists are bruised as shit.

Me, Medication, and of Course, the Sickness.

2008-06-26T13:17:00.004-05:00

New album soon... Mostly acoustic and mostly depressing rubbish.

Will post songs as soon as possible.

My new workstation:

Picked Fruit

What ever happened to the lost art of forgetting?
Picking up dissected pieces and changing your settings.
Flipping through your life like a Television station,
viewing long enough to only see the channel's description.

You know I once saw you in the back of my mind.
I laid you out on a canvas to preserve the time.
I don't recall much but I think that you liked it.
This painting's insignificant compared to all the other shit.

Lies come and they go,
then they come again and they steal the show.
I don't understand why your hand is waving bye...
It's hard, it's cold, and it's dark at night.

Well they say misery loves company but i think it's in love with me.
I wake up for work and it kisses my forehead so gently.
On my way out misery prepares me a bagel like a concession,
with a glass of orange juice and a side of depression.

I feel like a picked fruit in a bottle of cheap wine.
My hopes and dreams were taken straight from their vine,
and in to this bottle, yeah I'll call it depression, I was thrown.
Say good bye to my friends, my family, fuck my home.

Lies come and they go,
then they come again and they steal the show.
I don't understand why your hand is waving bye...
It's hard, it's cold, and it's dark at night.

I remember once on my birthday...
You said you would love me always.
We'd be together for all time, time, time, time.
Well they turned out the be all lies lies lies lies...

Lies come and they go,
then they come again and they steal the show.
I don't understand why your hand is waving bye...
It's hard, it's cold, and it's dark at night.

Lies come and they go,
then they come again and they steal the show.
I don't understand why your hand is waving bye...
It's hard, it's cold, and it's dark at night.

Kataude Mashin Garu

2008-06-18T14:57:00.006-05:00

Last week I encountered what I believe to be the best movie watching experience in HISTORY. If you're into cheap-as-hell Japanese shock films with incessant blood spew and tits of death, I'm pretty sure The Machine Girl won't disappoint you. Seriously. This movie has EVERYTHING from a tempura fried arm to finger sushi to a flying guillotine to a drill bra! Aside from the inevitable wackiness that this film holds for the sheer fact that it is Japanese, however, is a story about revenge to its fullest. Ami, an average high school girl, and her brother, Yu, have been living alone together since their parents' suicide. Yu and his friend, Takashi, are constantly bullied by a group of kids around their age, and are eventually killed. This is what sparks Ami's thirst for revenge. Initially, Ami sets out to gather information about the murderer/murderers and, after constantly being accused as one herself, becomes enraged and begins her murdering spree. Shortly after trying to kill the kid responsible for her brother and his friend's murder, Ami is caught and held captive under the supervision of the kid's Yakuza parents, who torture her by first cutting off her fingers, then her arm. After escaping her death trap, Ami stumbles to and collapses in front of a mechanic shop that is owned by Takashi's parents, who are skeptical about her, but end up helping her recover. Takashi's mother ends up caring for Ami, and the two of them set out to seek revenge together. The dad eventually finishes a fucking cool machine gun for Ami to wear as an arm, which she does some killer (literally) damage with to some crafty asshole ninjas. The duo eventually kill the ninjas' revenge-seeking parents, and set off to kill that one little shit's parents who, before are finally fucking dead, cut off Takashi's mom's leg (soon replaced with a chainsaw) and use a massive drill bra on Ami. And that's pretty much The Machine Girl in a nutshell. This is an all-out gore fest you won't want to miss.

In fact, here's a trailer to enjoy: