In case you have ever wondered...

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Gold, Jewels, Money? A Jedi Craves Not These Things.

Here's R2D2:
Yellow on black and loaded with features for finding the worlds most
notorious of treasures.

Here's R2D2's little sister:
Small hand held design meant for sniffing
out under the crotch area on
the worlds most notorious of criminals... But I digress.

Now here's a family ever so fucking ecstatic with their newly found treasures from below:

And here is some old guy...

...about to have a heart attack because all he found on his damn treasure hunt was a piece of shit Corona bottle cap!

(Reenactment. The names have been changed to protect the innocent.)
!!!
WTF

By the by, I have this hideous spot on my lawn now:
WTF
Over a damn hour of digging
and all I have to show for it
is a broke ass shovel and this
shit! AGGGGGH!

Shameless Plug From My Sponsor.

Thank yous are in order:

• Thank you old man who happens to rent out metal detectors within a 3 mile radius of my location.
• Thank you R2D2 for beeping like crazy.
• Thank you Larry.
  
• Thank you metal detector for detecting metal.
• Aforementioned plus accomplishing said duty within five minutes.
• Aforementioned Aforementioned sans five minutes pro making me look foolish for accomplishing within aforementioned time rather than the previous insuperable duration of which consumed over eight tormenting hours that I had fulfilled nothing.
• My job for allowing me to function somewhat properly (not mentally) without any sleep whatsoever.

• m-w.com for their word of the day: aforementioned.

afore·men·tioned

Pronunciation:

\-ˈmen(t)-shənd\

Function:

adjective

Date:

1587

: mentioned previously

Here's what R2D2 might have looked like:











Actually... That's exactly what he looked like.

￥2,079.57 well spent. lil' w00t.

Okay, cat's out of the bag... Here's the new house y0.
You'd never be able to tell but, the Audi is f'ing dirtier than hell! It has crop circles of bird shit on it!

And this!:

Drug test at work because I 'accidentally' injured a co-worker!
w00t!

12 Days and Counting

That's right; the Gutierrez household (and me) are off to fresh paint and new neighbors. Hopefully this means "new job for Lauren" because I am in desperate need of employment. All I've done, for almost a month now, is sit, eat, play Wii, and spend money that is not rightfully mine. You know what, though? I probably would still be unhappily employed (but employed nonetheless) if it weren't for that douchebag "chef" (YEAH, YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE) snooping through my purse and trying to dissuade me from thinking anything happened. Anyway, it's sort of a long story; all I know is this: within a month I hope to change this dream lifestyle I've been living for the past three weeks and commit myself to the hardships of the real world.

I also hope to get my car inspected this month. That would make my mom happy, thus rendering my annoyance level to virtually zero.

Oh, Shaun, this is for you:

If you're wondering what I really want for my birthday, it's a sushi date, berripop, and a movie at Edwards! That's it and that's all. Now let's just hope you read this before Saturday. :D

But really, that's it and that's all.

Egg Creams, Make Up, MGMT, and Cadillacs

As the title suggests.
Drink of the night: Egg Creams
Music of the night: The Make Up/MGMT
Car of the night: 2003 Cadillac CTS... Where the fuck did that one come from? XD
Movie of the night: Superbad
Mood of the night: Willful suspension of disbelief

Headcase

maybe

I was lifted

lifted from

fire.