eeeeeuuuugrrghhh

After a ridiculously long week of shit luck (no relation to the song), I have finally managed to realize things could be worse. But they could also be better- I mean, I'm posting from my Wii that isn't really mine as much as it's Shaun's, but enough about that.
So if you're wondering why I am engaging in such a tedious task, it is because the power connector to my laptop is so fucked up that even "ghetto rigging" has showed no luck.

But that is the least of my worries.

Last Friday my purse was taken and my phone, along with gift cards and who knows what, was stolen. I was, however, able to recover my purse with most of its contents.

Last night, although a Friday, marked the beginning of a better week. I guess I could also say it marked the end of a shitty one. According to Shaun, I had six beers, but I will continue to stick with my firm belief that I only had five.

Although always enjoyable, the beer wasn't the only perk, nor was the fact that it was Killian's Irish Red and Shiner's new black lager (fucking delish); the real perk was playing my Microkorg with Mouthbreather.

It was pretty hilarous when some obviously coked up/cracked out freak banged on the door and "threatened" to call the cops because we apparently sucked- we'll just ignore the fact that we were clearly jamming unwritten, unpracticed songs that really weren't even songs.

So she proceeded to blurt a bunch of increasingly incoherent obscenities when I finally raised the question, "Are you on CRACK?!!?" Needless to say, that concluded her visit.

And the moral of this post...

Don't be intimidated by random weirdos under the influence of controlled substances.

It's Lauren, live from Houston!

So if you happen to be a cum-loving sex addict, but are concerned that your weird disposition might interfere with your moral (or in this case, immoral) standpoints, you will be happy to know that I have a little special something to recummend:

Introducing... this interesting yet inexplicably unpleasant spicy cod roe sauce. You put it in your spaghetti!
The reason I found this suitable for cum guzzlers makes enough sense- the salt content of the flavor packet is probably equivalent to a hearty serving of semen.
This stuff actually tastes exactly how fish food (shrimp pellets, in particular) smells! I found this observation to be both disturbing and interesting for the fact that I have always been curious to know what fish food tastes like. I think I will just stick to my assumption and continue to believe that the cod roe sauce is a accurate comparison in similarities.

So if you're a recovering cum addict, consider the option of scarfing down a generous portion of the stuff in the picture. It's guaranteed to satisfy your craving for that viscid fluid excreted from a male's genitalia, or your money back! Just see what our REAL customers have to say!

"It really does work wonders!"

"I just love the alternatives that are being offered to society's raunchiest!"




















This is going nowhere. It's 4:34 in the AM, and I have not even considered sleep.

This is your mission...

do you choose to accept it?

Okay, ahhhhhhhhappy new year. Strawberry daiquiri, Ron Rio, Ballitore, blender, and for some reason, Lauren's new Kitchenaid? There was also popped corn and Metroid Prime: Corruption.
There was also this make-shift straw. Thank you, Penway.
And, thank you!---... Kitchenaid? Why? I still don't know.
I don't know if the Microkorg had much ado with nothing...Friends with P? Well you're friends with me!
P and his awesomest light up penis nose Christmas present.

These cakes look like shit.

This isn't quite possibly enabled as the short end of the stick. <-- Full circle linkage, sort of like my brand new Link's Crossbow Training that I obtained with my Wii Zapper! Yepp. Two that is...

I also ripped off Best Buy for the Best Buy.
100 bucks off a YP-P2!
Thank you, dumb ass stocker who didn't take the time to figure out the Yepp P2 was $200 not $100.
(Obviously not me^.)
I honestly don't know...
It was a good movie though. I thoroughly recommend it.

Oh, and there was 2000 points (1000 allotted towards Yoshi's Story64), a classic controller (those in the know will of course...), and an awesome as hell bundle pack of a Mario tin lunch box, two nun chuck skins (royal blue: light blue), two wii-mote skins (royal blue: light blue), a circular mario 10 game holding zip-up pouch (blue!), and last, but not least! SUPER MARIO GALAXY!!!THANK YOU LAUREN! Merry Christmas (belated), and happy new year!

P.S. Hidari Mae (if I am right, these guys are from the Nintendo Power team.) The guitar in the song, "Logical Conclusions" was entirely made on the great game "Jam Sessions," on the Nintendo DS.